How To: Connect by Disconnecting

How To: Connect by Disconnecting



AMANDA CHASE

What does it mean to be in a healthy relationship? And how does this change when the majority of our interactions happen in the digital space?

In the past few years, I’ve come up with a few key ways to set the stage for a positive romantic connection:

Get To Know You

For me, a healthy relationship starts with the relationship you have with yourself. And once you understand more about yourself, you are more able to connect with others in a deeper capacity. Personally, I didn’t understand the importance of getting to know myself until my five-year relationship ended. I found myself in fetal position on the floor asking, “Who am I as an individual?” I had completely lost myself somewhere between where I ended and he began. When you know yourself, you’re able to surround yourself with what nourishes and resonates with you. And, when you cultivate your own interests and identity, you have a lot to talk about and share when you do go out on a date with a new person or a significant other. Save the exciting details of your day until you're sitting across from each other, sharing a moment.

Create Boundaries

From the moment I wake up to the moment I close my eyes, I am checking my phone. I know I am not alone: checking emails, text messages, Instagram DMs, podcasts, blogs. It’s never-ending. When you are in the presence of another person, whether it is your significant other or someone you're talking to on the subway, I suggest you put your device away. Creating meaningful relationships means being present to have a meaningful interaction. I just recently started leaving my phone at home while I am at yoga, and it’s a great reminder to live in the moment. This technology break gives me a chance to take in my surroundings on my commute, converse with people at the studio and increase the chances of creating connections with people along the way. So, make a conscious effort to block out time in your day when you're not on your device.

Make It a Priority

It’s worth it to make the effort to disconnect now and then: That email can be answered after coffee with your girlfriends or your dinner date with a coworker. Living in the present moment is being conscious enough to experience what is happening in the here and now. Carve out time in your day to be technology-free, then see how things change!