Our inner dialogue is as important as the conversations we have aloud, even those conversations with the people closest to us. As the philosopher Gurdjieff said, "When falling asleep wakes you up you're making progress." When we reach a level of awareness in which we can recognize our actions that are below our standards of conduct, we remember that we don't have to act unconsciously—and are well on the road to a peaceful and powerful life.
Gurdjieff used falling asleep as an obvious metaphor for drifting into unconsciousness being while awake, but actual sleep is a vital nutrient for our well-being. Let's call it Vitamin "S."
I would like to share with you my ritual for falling asleep. I've evolved a method that uses the time before sleep to refresh my totality as a being—some call it their Soul or their Spirit—similar to the way deep sleep refreshes my body.
I live in the same world that you do, and I am well aware that this practice is going to trigger resistance from the grudges you think you’re entitled to carry. That’s great, because that’s how you can become aware of those grudges, especially the ones that have become buried so deeply into your awareness that, paradoxically, you are not even aware of them! You may come to realize that you've actually adopted these grudges as who you are unconsciously or, worse, who you think you are supposed to be. You can't be forgiven if you don't forgive, and you have to be the first one to do it—sorry! Forgive me?
Tip: When you're lying down and about to fall asleep, visualize the world covered with love and forgiveness and then make it personal—love everyone for the sweet, innocent baby they once were (even those who've long since gone sour, or worse), and forgive everyone for everything!
You can go a step further and try to see love and forgiveness as a thick rainbow-colored liquid being poured out onto the Earth from a jar like the symbol of the astrological sign Aquarius (my sign, by the way). Or if you don't like visualizing that image, or your own image of the concept, then try saying the words in your mind as you direct your emotions to actually desire to forgive everyone for everything.