HAYLEY STARR
This is a crucial moment for our species: We have the choice to self-destruct or reverse the damage caused by the unconscious few among us.
How? We grow, we evolve, we learn and we share all of it with each other in whatever ways we can. However, growth can take time; we have to learn lessons again and again until they imprint. And yet we no longer have the luxury of time. That’s where I believe friendship comes in.
It’s hard to recognize your own patterns. Emotions plus trying circumstances equal a perfect emotional shit storm that’s hard to see through. Everything feels confusing and unclear—but not to a friend. A friend is removed enough, loves you and has only your best interest at heart. He or she can be there to remind you of that which you’ve conveniently forgotten and help you find your way out.
How many of us sit back and watch our friends struggle through something tough? We see the answer, but we don’t want to meddle, thinking, “best to let them figure it out for themselves.”
I say, “No!” Help them, tell them, yell it, write it, draw a picture, send them a song, whatever it takes. It’s like when your friends inform you that they never really liked your partner, but only after you broke up? Why, friends? Save me the time and heartache and tell me from the start!
This absolutely works both ways: I want to be told when I'm being an a-hole, when you’ve spotted a shortcoming, an issue or a pattern of which I’m unaware. I want them all! Because I couldn’t see it, and thanks to this dear and courageous friend, I now might.
One thing to note: Most everything we’re able to see in another is a mirrored reflection of something we’re intended to look at within our own lives. In short, friends often project their own stuff onto your situation. But let’s take this even one step further back: If you believe in the law of no mistakes (which I do wholeheartedly), then even the coincidence that you were paired by the all-knowing Universe with said friend, and had a reaction to their situation based on your own, is no mistake.
A warning: It’s not always easy to hear the truth, especially the deep dark elements, but who said this was easy? Earth is beautiful, but she sure ain’t easy. You run the risk of losing a friendship (usually only temporarily) by telling a truth someone is not ready to hear. I say, “Fine. By. Me!” I like to keep my inner circle tight, comprised of nothing but awesomeness. When you’re ready to be awesome again, you’ll come back around. The good news is I’m equally as forgiving as I am honest.