The Practice That Saved My Sanity

The Practice That Saved My Sanity



My brain was skipping.

Self-defeating thoughts were playing on repeat like a bad techno dance track—more like torture than actual music. What started as a pang of uncertainty quickly morphed into a “quit or win” career moment, and I felt myself starting to sink under its weight. At the epicenter of my own delusional spiral, I was fighting an epic battle against fear and doubt.

It started when I moved to LA with stars in my eyes and all the faith in the world that my projects were genius. My time had come. Following in the fabulous entrepreneurial footsteps of my cyber idols, I was ready to take my personal training and group fitness business online.

I imagined afternoons spent on the patio at a café, laughing with my partners as we revolutionized the online space over lattes. Instead, uncertainty and lack of forward progress were affecting my sleep, health and valued relationships. I knew it was time to try a different approach. I needed a stronger practice to handle the energetic enormity of my business and my vision.

That’s when I discovered the technology of Kundalini yoga and met one of the most incredible women in the world: Seda Aksut.

Seda Aksut is a Kundalini yoga and meditation teacher, spiritual counselor and Reiki master with a master’s degree in psychology. I didn’t know it at the time, but her classes and healing workshops are renowned for inspiring positive transformations.

I’m a big believer in universal signs brought to our attention by angels and guides. I see them everywhere. Since I had been on my knees the night before, asking for a miracle to help shift my mood and get me back on track, I wasn’t surprised to see a random invitation on Facebook  for exactly what I needed: a full moon Kundalini Yoga session that same evening.

It was Seda’s photo that caught my attention because she is stunning with a capitol “S.” But there was more to it than just her looks. She has this wild, magnetic, unconditionally loving energy that radiates from her eyes, inviting people into her magical world of enchantment, healing and deep inner peace.

Her invitation called to me on a gut level like a primal nudge, so I decided that, if her studio was within walking distance, I would join the class and see what this whole Kundalini thing was all about.

I had absolutely nothing to lose.

In my experience, when I ask for something with clarity, it usually shows up quickly and efficiently. It works every time, if I am still enough to notice its arrival. This was no exception: It seemed as if the Universe had called Seda ahead and made me a VIP reservation to reunite with my long-lost kindred souls. From the moment I settled into the back corner of her small home studio and closed my eyes, something inside shifted.

At first, my body and mind resisted everything. I quickly flashed through doubts: “I’m too tired, this is dumb, what the hell is this? I wonder if I can sneak out?” Then, I fell right into: “What is that tingling? That feels awesome. Wow. I’m a lot stronger than I thought. This is easy. Why does it feel like I’ve done this before? Why have I not been doing this?”

When we chanted specific musical tones through our bodies’ energy centers, it gave me goosebumps. I felt comfortably familiar with the exercises right away. I’d done Kundalini classes at special events before with celebrity instructors, but, this time, it felt different—more intimate, sacred, transformative . . . I just got it.

I could finally let go.

For the next hour, I hovered above myself in a strange déjà vu, as I focused on Seda’s smooth, articulate, precise and soothing instruction. The breath work, subtle movement and mental imagery were designed to help me and my classmates sink further into the experience, as we touched, felt and saw the fullness and safety of infinity, beyond the illusion of body, work and relationships. And, for the first time since I could remember, I was getting high without the aid of any mind-altering substances.

Everything that felt huge and menacing—like deadlines, expectations and my California beach town rent—starting shrinking in the magnitude of love, breath, heat, sweat and the sound of tribal drums thumping from a Bose speaker.

I’ve always rolled my eyes at the whole guru thing, but, by the time I walked out the door that night, I had a spark of hope, a girl crush, a stirring in my soul and an enchanting and optimistic perspective on my life.

With Seda’s help I woke up and remembered that this is all a gift. This moment is what matters, forgiveness exists, healing is real, success is inevitable, trying is key, loving is most important and learning is how to survive. Thriving and evolving is what it’s all about. I remembered how much I love living my life in full throttle adventure mode. I thought about blazing a new trail and how it’s as exhilarating as it is terrifying at times.

I’ve always been a loudmouth, punk ass, risk-taker. It’s actually what I love most about myself, and it’s gotten me further in life than I ever expected to go. It’s also given me a taste for all that’s still out there, waiting to be discovered. Seda and Kundalini have shown me a way to work with my energy, so that, when my dreams arrive, I am energetically ready to hang onto them.

After the first class, I started a 10-minute Kundalini practice, which I have become completely hooked on. I am working on the energy in and around my heart and also the powerful energy of my ego. I’ve realized that the energy system is a part of our anatomy, and it has to be worked out daily, just like our physical body. Whether it’s weight loss or leaving a job that doesn’t serve you, if you want to transform a situation in your life, it all begins on an energetic level. Working with your energy prepares your body and your reality to shift to match your deepest desires.

I still love rocking my WEightless workouts. Only now I notice increased strength through my core body, enhanced mental clarity, a lot more patience and an ability to create with intention. My workouts have become deeply spiritual, a moving meditation.

I’ve also noticed that I finally have the motivation to practice yoga on my own when I’m feeling stressed out or overloaded, instead of reaching for alcohol or mind-numbing TV. With the right teacher, Kundalini is a technology that can shift your perspective, light you up from the inside and change your life.

I see the world a little differently these days: I’m settling into my California life and watching as the magic of this new adventure unfolds, instead of trying to control every detail. Through deep healing work in Seda’s workshops and private sessions, I experience emotional and physical detox, releasing patterns that need to go!

Seda’s background in Western psychology, counseling and Reiki helps with classes and workshops that focus on healing and emotional freedom. Strong breath work in her workshops and classes links the specifically chosen Kriyas and meditations to cut through emotional blocks at a cellular level. It helps us unload past programs running in the subconscious, remove negativity and open up abundant and prosperous new pathways.

Seda teaches Kundalini Yoga & Meditation through weekly classes and monthly workshops in Hermosa Beach, Redondo Beach, Manhattan Beach and Venice.

Learn more about Seda Aksut.